relationships 12 August 2026 Daily Monitor (Uganda)
Man’s in-laws expect his salary, wife sides with them
A married man is struggling with his in-laws' constant financial demands, which are now impacting his own family's finances and causing him distress. His wife believes she should support her family, adding to his dilemma. Source: https://www.monitor.co.ug/uganda/lifestyle/heart-to-heart/my-in-laws-think-my-salary-belongs-to-them-5555908
A 37-year-old man, identified as David, is facing a significant financial and emotional strain from his wife’s extended family. Three years into his marriage, he feels his salary is no longer his own, as requests for money from his in-laws have become a monthly occurrence.
What began with helping with school fees for his wife’s siblings has escalated to covering medical bills, funeral contributions, and even rent. The situation reached a peak when his mother-in-law asked for money to repair her roof. David explained he couldn’t afford it due to his own children’s school fees, but his mother-in-law reminded him of his marital obligation to her family. His wife supports these demands, stating, “They are my people.”
David now dreads payday, knowing more requests will follow. He questions whether he is being selfish for wanting to set financial boundaries with his in-laws.
According to relationship advice, feeling dread about finances due to extended family pressure is unhealthy and can lead to toxicity. While supporting in-laws can be commendable, it becomes problematic when it conflicts with one’s own immediate family’s needs, such as competing school fees with roof repairs.
It’s suggested that David may have unintentionally cultivated an expectation of continuous support. The advice is to gently reshape these expectations by politely saying “no” and avoiding guilt. Open communication with his wife is crucial, even if she initially disagrees, to help her understand the necessity of boundaries for their immediate family’s stability.
Clarity about financial realities and priorities is key. David is advised that his extended family can find other solutions if he cannot assist. Exploring collective responsibility within the extended family and resisting guilt-tripping are also recommended strategies. Consulting a counselor or a mature friend can offer rational analysis to prioritize his own family’s well-being.
Ultimately, a marriage and immediate family should not become an extension of the extended family’s financial needs, especially when it strains resources and causes distress.
Source: Daily Monitor (Uganda)