The Ugandan government has released an advance of 15bn to little known Kenlloyds logistics to necessitate them procure stock piles of 30 Mn liters to be kept in the government reserves.

• Lakwena's Dad arrested for operating un-registered CBO
• Impotence on the rise in Jinja
• Alternative Entertainment - Forest Trekking, Enjoy a boat ride, Beach Volley Ball, Play sand soccer, Visit an Art Gallery, Visit an art Gallery, Kayaking, Tour a Historical landmark.
• Muhamad Junior of Aya Brothers wounded two people after loosing over shs 200Mn in gambling at Mayfair Casino on Lumumba Avenue. After the shoot out he jumped into his benz with ''AYA FIFI'' customized number plates and rushed off in the process knocking a pregnant woman on a bodaboda. Police visited the scene and recorded statements.

A national oil reserve is planned after the country suffered acute fuel shortages during the Kenyan crisis. The project to cost over 70Billion has been awarded to the foreign affairs daughter Ishta and her husband Robert Muganga of Ken Lloyds Logistics.

Fuel Giants like Shell, Caltex and Total are furious after a little known company could beat them to manage the country's national oil reserves. The giants were asked to submit an expression of interest on the above matter which they did but to their surprise a firm with no experience in the management of oils could beat them.

The Deputy Speaker of parliament Ms Rebecca Kadaga is back from UK where she had been hospitalized after getting an attack on the plane while traveling to Germany. She came back on Saturday aboard a British airways flight. The Deputy Speaker is still tired and will certainly have to rest to a time she is a lot better.

• Soldiers arrested for stealing Museveni's jet fuel.
• Court blocks Avemar sale from auction up to next month.
• Nakasero traders vow to burn city as parliament dossier leaks-The went on a sit down strike demanding that KCC gives them the land title so they can develop it.
• Ragga Dee gives up Tooto's club

Enos Tumusimwe a top Kampala lawyer and former MD of Uganda Railways Corporation,  Enos Tumusimwe has finalized a plot to seize the house owned by National Social Security Fund. The house in question is the magnificent workers house. The plot originates from perennial Alcon & NSSF where Enos is the lawyer for the construction firm. This firm won to construct workers house in the 1990's but before it could be done the contract was cancelled and Roko took over.

Alcon took the legal path and it was agreed that the matter be settled out of court something that Alcon had no objection to. Enos advised Alcon not to go for that out of court settlement as he was convinced he could win the case. This direction was to be pursued on condition that Alcon had to part with 50% of the costs to Enos. Alcon has eventually won the long court case battle and awarded US$ 10M. Interest on this money has accumulated to over US$ 40M and Enos has intimated to some that workers house belongs to him now that the accumulated interest is the market value of the building. The matter has been forwarded to the President.

• Katuntu buys Range Rover

Its now official. President Museveni has declared in the last 10 days that he is going nowhere. He declared this at a rally in Bushenyi and in a meeting with Buganda MPs. Below is a list of six presidential candidates that he is likely to face in 2011.

1. Nobert Mao
2. Prof.Gilbert Bukenya
3. Col.Kizza Besigye
4. Jaberi Bindadi Ssali
5. Nandala Mafabi
6. Reagan Okumu

It is the actions and words of the above persons that speak volumes about their desire to become President of Uganda.

FDC Boss for Treatment in South Africa - The FDC President Rt. Col. Kizza Besigye will soon be leaving for South Africa for treatment. He will leave the country early next month. Last year the FDC Boss cut short his holiday when reports filtered in on Christmas that he was dead after suffering three strokes. Besigye has contested the post of presidency twice.

• Maureen sighted in Juba with a UN Diplomat
• Hope for LRA Rebel peace deal in days

UPDF General make good on their promise to expose FDC MP's scandals after she abused Museveni. The Generals have hit back against Beti Kamya's outbursts. This was after they warned her to stop her outbursts against the President or else they would retaliate with a dossier of her sex secrets. The outspoken Rubaga MP Beti Olive Kamya has had sleepless nights since then. The dossier is about Beti Kamya's lover who the MP kicked out while she was still in Jinja and working with ULATI (Uganda Leather & Tannery Industry). The gentleman who was chucked is now in Nakulabye in a butcher selling beef products. They had three children with this man. Beti Kamya moved on to work with Uganda Breweries in Luzira where she met the family of Late sgt Spencer Turomwe. Turomwe dumped his family and resorted to Beti. Beti Kamya's father, the late colonel Kamya was a senior officer in Amin's army.

• Tropical Bank attaches Tycoon Zzimwe's Properties, Barclays demands Shs.2.2Bn
• Jingo Sho attacked Bobi Wine on Thursday as he went to Bat Valley theatre. On moving out of his car Jingo sho was in the near by bush armed with a bottle which he used to hit Bobi Wine's eye. An eye witness said Bobi Wine on being hit fell on the ground unconscious. Bobi Wine's eye could be operated on. Jingo Sho was later apprehended.

  Jingo Sho and Bobi Wine have been accusing each other over the Kicomando songs.. They both have tracks with the same title and there are accusations of who stole whose track.

As a comprehensive anti-AIDS strategy all health centers will be offering circumcision services. This was revealed in Gulu by the assistant commissioner for disease control in the Ministry of Health. In a related move Rwanda announced last month that it would kick off with nationwide male circumcision as part of its national AIDS policy.

• Uganda soldiers on the AU Peace keeping force will stay for an additional 6 months.
• Sway Club has once again won to host UB40 after party at US $ 7000. Sway Club did a similar part for Brick N Lace & Kevin Lyttle.
• Kampala's most packed Bars - Mateos Bar, Michelles Pub, Chez Johnson, Hakuna Matata, Bamboo Nest, Al's Bar, Ground Zero Bar, Fat Boyz,
• Celebrity Showdown: Most likely to earn her income off Nostalgia-themed Tv shows Karitas Karisimbi. I can't think of anything that Karitas has never done save for motherhood and graduating from a university.
  She has lived a life of Glamour, Style, and Class. From TV and Radio & back to TV the sexy socialite tried to hang onto any kind of work that would guarantee her some kind of limelight like a drowning person clinging to a lifesaver.

Its about two months after the former steeplechase gold medalist Inzikuru Dorcas gave birth to a daughter named Emmanuela. Dorcas heard rumors of her hubby cheating on her way before giving birth something she confirms that seriously inconvenienced her during the time she was pregnant.

Rumor has it that Inzikuru's husband Acidri is moving out with a Makerere University Business school girl called Stella. Acidri is also rumored to have three more babies from different girls. These developments have forced Inzi to withdraw her car and she also threatens to stop paying school fees for Acidri.

• MPs want death penalty for FGM.
• Uganda declared Ebola free.
• Tavern bar to relocate to Nsambya.
• Praise Asimwe Ex Miss Uganda gets saved.
• Boda Boda Cyclist rapes customer in Mukono.

An advert was placed in the local papers last week selling  Avemar shopping complex plus three houses to recover over 4 billion lent to one Behakanira by Barclays bank. The bank accordingly dispatched a team of armed men to seize the property who in a way were over powered by snow white security who guard the premises.

• LRA Leader agrees to be tried by a special court in Uganda
• Mukula for Airlines company
• 22 years of NRM - Why Museveni is not going anywhere
• The Emperor and Wife are no more - Orlando and wife Brenda have split.
• VP Bukenya turns house into lodge -Garuga Mansion turns into a Holiday inn

Government of Uganda is broke and seeking for a supplementary budget funding of Shs 200 Billion. The budget has been faced with pressures like Ebola, floods, CHOGM plus other emergencies that required immediate attention. The Kenyan crisis has also brought in a shortfall in the revenues collected.

• Uganda Funeral services sues KCC over land in Industrial area.
• ADF Rebels bomb Kasese injure Eleven
• Police in Kumi is holding a traditional healer for stealing a woman's private parts
• Mawadri lands part time job
• Police Officers to be charged over the Kisekka market violence which lasted three days and left 3 dead.

The President was meeting MPs from Buganda over the weekend when the MP Hon.Balikuddembe for Busiro south said that Salim Saleh's wife, Jovia and two other Colonels were behind the massive evictions in Entebbe and Kajjansi. Close to 3,000 tenants are affected.

• Former Health Minister gives first family a 5m Valentine Dinner treat

Obsessions Group No More - Uganda's most popular dancing group has separated due to sex and money wrangles according to the Red Pepper. However the straw that broke the camels back was the disagreement on how to share the proceeds from the "Spirit of the Sun Production" a play that got massive sponsorship. Helen has landed a job with the marketing department of New Vision while Sharon's boy friend in the UK is on the verge of getting Sharon a visa so she can join him there.

• Deputy Speaker still admitted - She was supposed to have been discharged last week but her condition still calls for close medical supervision.
• Museveni halts the sale of Kisekka Market
• URA Loses Ugx 2.5Bn as a result of the Kenyan Crisis.

The Avemar shopping complex on Luwum street is on sale together with the 2000 room J&M Airport Road Hotel at Bwebajja. Tycooon Behakanira and wife lost this to Barclays Bank after a  loan they took. According to the Tycoon he sights some hotel mafia in this as everything from appointing receivers and notices for auction have moved very fast before the tycoon could meet the bank officials." Why does Barclays Bank want to kill me over 4.7Bn when I'm supposed to pay back Shs 35Bn?''.What was more confusing to the tycoon was that as he went to the bank to discuss the developments all the staff had moved especially after Barclays Bank took over Nile Bank, the new management looked at the loan balance and did not refer to the agreements entered into with the old Barclays team.

• 20 Policemen arrested over Kisekka Market riot.
• I will not betray Buganda on the proposed amendment to the 1998 Land act-VP Bukenya
• Kenya crisis boosts M7's fourth term
• Seya in hiding over market saga.
• Lingerie show is on  - This is the second show of its kind in Uganda at Club Sway tonight on Valentine's day. Kampala's top and sexy models will be moving around in exotic underwear.This will  be an adult show.
• Obsession's Sharon introduces Nkuba Kyeyo drops longtime bonkmate Ronnie Mulindwa.
• ''Witchcraft'' attacks IGG's car in Kasese.
• DP Vows to hold rally over land.
• Dramatic U Turn - Aldrine Nsubuga begs Mulindwa for pardon.

Jim Muhwezi has broken his silence to launch a new offensive against President Yoweri Museveni. He made a rare revelation that Dr.Kizza Besigye should be recognized as Uganda's number one hero. Maj General Muhwezi was last seen in an army uniform in 1996 but the next time he put it on was on Jan 26 and headed to Rukungiri and demanded to be made the chief guest. The RDC did not grant that request since he was the representative of the President, Jim obliged but when his chance as NRM district chairperson to make a speech came up, he used the opportunity to launch his offensive on the party leadership. He said " Nobody should create the impression that he fought more than others. I was there in the bush and I can tell you. Infact when we are recognizing NRM heroes we should start with Dr.Kizza Besigye. Had it not been for Kizza Besigye many of these people, including those in State House would not be alive".

• Lukwago Bailed- He insists Murderers still alive
• Chameleon, DJ Michael renew Feud

The NRM heavy guns Prof. Gilbert Bukenya and Prof. Apollo Nsibambi are embroiled in a tough struggle for the post of VP in the forthcoming cabinet. The President is still weighing the option of retaining Prof. Bukenya and appointing Prof. Nsibambi as the new VP. Sources say Bukenya has been complaining to his pals that the President sometimes assigns tasks to Nsibambi which could have been Bukenya's

• Odinga calls on Kibaki to quit.
• World Court hunts for Vincent Otti's body
• Maureen sighted with Muzungu at Avemar shopping complex probably window shopping for Valentine's day.
• Makerere Students plan Demo over Lecturers
• Ex-Miss Uganda Praise Asimwe jobless again after working with Capital Radio & Simba Casino.

Museveni, Bush send Valentine's message to Kony. UPDF, US Army finalize plan to surround LRA Rebels in Garamba. It is an ultimatum from President's Yoweri Museveni and George Bush that they will soon smoke him out of the Garamba jungles, in the DR Congo because he is simply not interested in the peace talks.

Plan B - The UPDF has been put on high alert as LRA start high abductions in southern Sudan. UPDF will not wait for Kony to re-enter Northern Uganda. UPDF with the help of American Marines surveillance will surround Kony in Garamba pushing him to Uganda-Sudan border in the process destroying Kony's tactical base to stop supplies from his allies. Before the assault commences Kony will be given a chance to accept a peace deal but on failing the guns will sound again. Kony recently revealed that he did not intend to sign any peace with the Uganda government to end the prolonged conflict in Northern Uganda.

• M7 Shuffles Army
• Lukwago Arrested in connection with the Kayira case
• Disgraced ISO Directors to join FDC
• State house to purge staff for leaking secrets
• Cab Driver Bonks New vision Official -A Driver Operating from Mateos bar is bonking one of the New Vision top officials in the marketing department. The two hooked up when the vision staffer asked the driver to drive her home. A relationship has developed and the two are always bonking senselessly in this cab. The tall and slender official is even planning to introduce the driver to her parents.
• Amin's Daughter Introduces Record TV Anchor
• Makerere Hostels Transformed into Lodges  - Some Modern Hostels like Akamwesi Complex have come on board giving these other ones a run for there money. In  so doing they have had to change their strategies because some students are hooligans and defaulting comes in handy.
  Charm Inn  was a hostel but it has now turned into a lodge and they are not complaining as seen from this analysis. It was Jacob Hostel but now Cham Inn and transnite accommodation ranges from 10,000 to 30,000 implying that in a month this room can make between 300,000 to 900,000 depending on the traffic as opposed to the 400,000 it used to make in a semester of 4 months. With the 50 rooms at Cham inn a cool 75 Million is realized in a month. The bar and Restaurant will supplement that income with an additional 15 Million per month. It means that the lodges fetch 255 Million more than the Hostels used to make. These are estimates implying that this figure could be a lot more than it is depending on the Patrons.

Valentine's Day Special - Tricks Ladies can use to hook guys for Valentine's day

Its getting to that time of the year again where red seems to be more and more visible every passing day. Roses are already dominating florists displays and everything from baloons to candy is shaped like a heart implying that Valentines day is around the corner.

As opposed to staying home and moping the house for those singles out there why not make use of these quick suggestions that can land you that guy who will sweep you off your feet.

• Be yourself - Do not laugh louder or smile more than you do because this might blow up everything.
• Appearance matters a lot - If short skirts, make up and so on make you uncomfortable then stay off them
• Show off what you have - Instead of killing you confidence by following uncomfortable fashion trends use your assets. If its your height or your eyes or better still your complexion then use that by drawing attention to it. 
• Take the initiative - With only five days to go don't spend the entire period praying that he walks to you, do it first. Smile or Say Hello to him your confidence will disarm him.
• Body Language speaks louder - After you have conquered him it means you are now on top or better still in charge of the situation.Respond to him physically & verbally with frequent glances & smiles commenting on the topics and the statements he makes plus laughing at his jokes.
• Sound Knowledgeable - Find out what he likes and pursue him in that direction.
• Be Strategic - Position yourself cleverly so that he has no chance to talk to others or others to grab his attention.
• Don't be Clingy - Supposing you are in a group then do not only concentrate on him alone you can also have fun by getting other members in the group talk to you. If he leaves briefly on coming back give him a friendly smile or welcome.
• Let him know you are Single - Indicate to him that you are not seeing anyone at present, particularly when you are about to leave.
• Talk about the Big Day Ahead - The conversation here should be what normally happens on Val like upcoming concerts, good movies, restaurants. So get there girl & go for it Mr. Perfect is out there waiting to sweep you off your feet.!

• Woman wants Shs 170Mn from Seiko over Child Neglect
• Miss Uganda Hooks Medical Student.
• DJ Messe surfs Bummy Babe at National Theatre.

There is a new artist every week coming up with a new album hoping to make his mark in the music industry. Most of these have taken the avenue of dirty lyrics or you can classify them as dirty talk. Below are top most songs that have rocked the lives of Ugandans.

• Kwata wano by Phoebe Nassolo - She asks her lover to touch her in particular places
• Kawuna by Ronni Banton - The lyrics are interpreted as Ronni'e advice for cheating Husbands.
• Namboole by Mathias Walukagga - The football fanatic in this prized tune challenges someone for a match in our only stadium Namboole, where he predicts win since he expects to score many goals.
• Kisumuluzo by Tool Man -He talks of a master key and the moment you have it you can open all doors.
• Emboko by Master Blaster - His lyrics come very close to dirty words but does not actually say them has actually cost him massive airplay.
• Ndoddo - by Bella ''Abakyala Baagala Ndoddo'' some perverted people interpreted it to mean that women love big whoopers.

President Museveni has ordered the sacking of several ISO directors. Director General Dr.Amos Mukumbi was ordered to retire immediately all those above 50 years plus those who have served for more than 20 years.

• Land Bill Crisis - I want Industries not Kings, Bishops.
• Museveni rushes back to Kenya to chair EAC meeting on the crisis in Kenya
• Winnie Muyenga drops bouncing baby boy.
• Over 70 Private schools padlocked in Jinja for lack of basic necessities.

• Kyagulanyi to be MDD lecturer at Makerere

A special security committee has linked the current tribal talk to some Ministers in Government who want to influence the imminent Cabinet reshuffle.

Intelligence sources have reported that many Ministers are now in panic over the possibility of being dropped from the fat jobs when President Museveni drops the hammer soon. The cabinet reshuffle is expected anytime this month or there after.

• Kibaki says Electoral Controversies common in Democracy.
• Strange Animal disease threatens Meat Market.
• Gaddafi Offers M7 Plane - Libyan Arab Leader, Col.Gadaffi has offered the Ugandan Government a free plane which will transport Museveni's delegation and journalists when the President visits Libya mid Feb. 2008. The President and Col.Gadaffi will be discussing matters on related to the African Union and the war on terror.In addition to free transport the Col will cover allowances for the members of the delegation the President will travel with.
• PS in trouble over Rwabwogo CNN Deal - The Ministry of Trade & Industry Permanent Secretary Sam Nahamya could be in trouble following his utterances when he was grilled for awarding TERP Consult the deal to market Uganda's potential abroad.

The President has summoned the Chief of Defence Forces, General Aronda Nyakairima and grilled him over the claims that appeared in the press that Kizza Besigye has massive support in the army. Kizza Besigye claimed last week that his support in the UPDF had grown to over 90%

• M7 Warns World Bank - Museveni's government will not listen to advice that undermines or delays construction of power.
• Lillian of Blu3 Finally graduates.
• Deep Voiced Singer Dizzy Nuts of the Fire Burn Dem Song over stays Visa in UK.