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Zari Hassan

Uganda's Red Pepper Tabloid
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Red Pepper Uganda
Red Pepper

The Pepper  Publications Ltd.
Plot 2388 Jinja Road Namanve
P.O.Box 7335
Tel 0414-597463,
Fax 0414-290190 

Highlights and Lead Stories from the Red Pepper Uganda's first Tabloid.

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Sunday, March 08 2009
  1. House Girl - Zuena was working like a washing machine, baby manufacturing, a cook and a baby sitter. Zuena could also wake up very early in the morning after long work out nights and prepare millet porridge before embarking on washing dirty jeans which shockingly could have used condoms at times.
  2. Uncountable Girl Friends - Bebe Cool has a girl friend in all the hostels around Kampala and he visits them every night to share huge bottles of Waragi and other spirits. On making rounds with all these babes, he comes back home knackered and cannot fulfill his conjugal duties.
  3. Spendthrift Like a Porous Sieve - Zuena tells friends that Bebe Cool is like porous sieve and that any dime he gets drowns in a bottomless pit as he showers it on city babylons.
  4. Serial Text Pest - He receives hundreds of SMS from his lusty fans at times when we are in bed and he would answer them even without looking at the handset.
  5. Porcupines Temper - Bebe has a fiery temper like that of a porcupine and that at times he could return home stoned and rumble like an earthquake forcing her to flee and hide under the be for hours and yet that is where he would be throwing his smelly socks and shoes.
  6. Turned Zuena into a Base Drum. - Zuena's pals add that Bebe having learnt to play at least one musical instrument, he had turned her into a base drum clobbering her whenever he felt like instead of strumming her gently like a spanish guitar.
  7. He is Mean - Zuena adds that the dreadlocked star was mean to her like a white heron and had relegated her to footsbish like a cow where as other real men are busy buying their campus babes RAV 4s Code named "Wampomede" 
  8. A Muzigo Fan - Zuena cannot cope with the idea of staying in a muzigo all her life. Other artistes are parading cribs all around with Jacuzzis and plush sprawling loans guarded by Alsa-Artians, German Sheperds and Dobermans, my Bebe is busy presenting an artistic impression of his house which only existed in dreams.
  9. No DSTV at Home - The former model adds that she is not comfortable with going to Bibanda and other public places to watch DSTV which she thought was an easy thing for her Reggae star husband to fix. Bebe actually wanted to fix the DSTV but was stopped by the land lord who did not buy the idea of drilling his muzigo.
  10. Home Like a Skunk's Den - Before Zuena left the home it was a mixture of fumes from waragi infested breath and carbon mugere to forge a foul smell that would make carbon monoxide shy.

So for all to be well with the reggae star, Zuena has set conditions and once fulfilled she will return to his bed. The first condition is to lock his groin with a solex lock with a key permanently kept by Zuena and the second is for Bebe to buy a washing machine and lastly Zuena will be the Chief Accountant of Bebe's funds. All contracts should be perused through by her and all monies spent with her consent. Bebe should also not leave under the connotations of his name (Baby) but he should leave like a man.''Bebe must learn to be as meek as lamb and it's only then that I will open up all my gates for him unconditionally for him to explore to the deep end, '' Zuena wraps up.

Posted by: uowd AT 05:04 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
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